Dating in your late 20's and the problem with dating apps, social media and its impact

Wow, I used to update my blog everyday once upon a time. Nowadays, I seem to have lost touch with writing. I hope to get that back soon.

I feel that when we're younger, we scramble for a sense of direction. But as we get older, we sometimes seem to scramble sense of purpose. Each day passes by exactly the same as the previous day, we lose track of time as days quickly pass us by. Why am I even here, we ask, as we work through the same routine every day, And yet, We don't have time to sit around the house being all depressed with trashbags piling around us, like a scene from a K-drama. We can't even afford the time for that because things don't clean themselves up, bills don't get paid on their own nor will our bosses smile and treat us nicely if we screw up at work. Life goes on right? Where's the time and energy for feelings, emotions, mental health, doing "soul-enriching" activities?

As you sit and dissociate for hours, in an attempt to try to rest and recharge, You scroll through social media. You relate and feel while reading other people's depressing rants. And then, you start getting really tired of seeing it. You convince yourself that you don't need to keep seeing such negativity because it is not good for you. But you know what's as bad? You already know it. Positivity. Aren't you sick of all the motivational influencers and quotes online? All the good morning quotes, all the "5 ways to get your life back together" posts and videos. We know how unrealistic it is when they try to "inspire" or "motivate" us to do better. Because It never helps does it? How do these people pretend to keep waking up at 4am to do yoga, make breakfast, go to the gym and earn $10000 a month all at once? Just living is exhausting as it is.

Then maybe we think, maybe being single is the problem. Maybe if we find love, the world will look more beautiful. Maybe, we'll get the butterflies and regain our ability to feel. Because love will solve everything, love transcends all... at least that's what everyone says. But we haven't met anyone organically and we can't even remember what its like to even have a crush on somebody because we left that in our teenage years. So off we go into the world of dating apps. In hopes of meeting someone.

Dating apps are a disaster. 99.9999999% of people on it are just looking for sex. Why do things like casuals, friends with benefits and one night stands even exist? To give people an excuse to do things with no commitment and no attachment? This started because of people like us, people who are unable to feel any emotions properly. And if we engage in it, we're actually worsening our problem. This dating app culture is encouraged by the newer "woke" generation too, who have made it into their norm. The whole casual culture, is a norm. No hate, but its just not for me.

Dating apps are just an avenue for people to advertise their social media on it. When people like me bother to write an actual bio, I get asked "is this a resume?" "why do you write an essay?" Sorry I'm actually interesting and have accomplishments, Jeremy, and I don't just write "I love to chill. Insta: iamajerk" on my bio. Then we have others who swipe right on me without even reading a single thing I wrote, and ask me what my name is. Really?

Then. At the rate time flies by, we'll be 30, and we'll face a new problem of feeling old and undate-able, while wanting to explode under stigmatization and societal pressure. Suddenly, arranged marriage doesn't sound like a bad idea after all. We lose an ability to feel interested in a person or to stay interested in a person.

When I take a step back and think about it. its all because we have grown to seek validation from our presence online. We feel validated by the number of likes and matches. This is the problem. We get obsessed with it and forget about who we are. We forget about what our inner child loves doing, our hobbies. We lose touch. We say we miss those times, and yet we make no attempt to go back. Why can't we go back?

I'm going to be tough on myself to lessen my use of social media. I may have accomplished a lot but... This need for likes and validation, has been true even for me just like it has been for everyone else. If I didn't need this, I could accomplish way more. Who am I trying to impress? Nobody, my life is short, and I think I need to do as much as I can before my time is up. Is it not scary to think about how wasted time can never be regained? You're the youngest you ever will be this very second, its just a fact. I feel that by lessening my use of social media, I will have more time for my hobbies and to improve my skills. Social media is actually such a huge hindrance to progress.

And no, I'm not going to say "to attract the best kind of partner, you must be the best version of yourself" or "how will anyone love you when you don't love yourself?" all that's just bull. Do it for YOURSELF. For you. For your happiness. For you to feel proud of yourself. You're the single constant in your life.

And just delete those dating apps.

Here's to me trying my best at 27.